Little Parker Details

Hi All-
Just thought I would document some of the cute little things Parker does, so I can remember them! 

*  I like to open my eyes and stay awake more than I used to! I look around and sometimes I smile!
*  When I get angry or upset, just before I start to cry real hard, I snort over and over again.
*  I like to throw my arms up in the air above my head- especially when I'm sleeping
*  I have long skinny legs and big feet and I like to stretch out long and straight, and then pop them back in real quick- over and over again
*  I eat pretty much every 1 1/2 to 2 hours-  I'm a hungy little guy!
*  Oh- and I squeak like a mouse when I eat, in between my big loud gulps. 
*  I'm a good little pooper too- and my poop face is hilarious
*  Today I went to the doctor, and I have gained some serious weight!! I weigh 6 lbs 8 oz-  quite the increase from last week when I weighed 5 lbs 7 oz! told you I'm a good eater
*  I also grew a whole inch! I am now 20 inches long
* My favorite things to do are snuggle with my daddy on the couch, sit in my swing, be wrapped up real tight, and be against my mom and dad's chests. 
*  Oh, and I make the cutest little kissy faces!  Ladies, eat your hearts out!

The mommy transition

While speaking on the phone with Grandpa Beckstead the other day, he jokingly asked me "So whose the boss at your house?"   I immediately responded with... "Parker is!"  and that is not far from the truth.  We've been home from the hospital for one week and I've been in full Mommy Mode.  My life currently consists of feeding the baby, burping the baby, changing the diaper, rocking the baby to sleep, 45 minutes of free time, feeding the baby, burping the baby, changing the diaper, rocking the baby to sleep, 45 minutes of free time, continued throughout the day.  Do I Love it?  YES!!!  It is a huge transition?  YES!!!

Going from a crazy busy, working 50+ hours a week, independent married woman to a stay at home mommy who has no control over her days schedule has been a major life change.  Sure I have free time where I squeeze in some homework, housework, good ol' TV, or on occasion a nap.  And yes, the busy is completely different and extremely rewarding in its own way.  I can't help but smile everytime I see a silly expression on my babies face, or hear him coo and make his little baby noises.  I have to kiss his tiny toes every time I see them, and I can't help but laugh when he opens his eyes and wrinkles up his forhead- he looks like an old man.  hahaha  But I find myself feeling a little down sometimes,  struggling with the change.  Yes I love being a mom- but staying at home all day can take its toll.  I do miss the freedom of going where I want, when I want.  I miss the financial security of having two incomes.   I wonder what life will be like when the baby isn't two tiny or young to go out - I have a little cabin fever.   I look forward to the day that we get on a good schedule, and I don't feel chained to the breast pump and feeding schedule.   And I can't wait for the time when Parker sleeps longer than 2 hours at a time at night.  I could use a good nights sleep :)

Am I wishing this time away, absolutely not.  I love his snuggles, his sweet little face.  I love that Parker is my tiny newborn and I have grown a newfound admiration for my amazing husband.  Smiles cover my face when I see Tyler with Parker,  He is like the "baby whisperer" and knows exactly what to do to make the little guy calm down and fall asleep soundly.   Having a baby at home has been such an amazing experience, but a hard one as well.  Maybe I am a bad person for admitting that its difficult.  Am I the only one that feels this way? Maybe.  But it really helps to be honest, to write it out, to share what this experience is like for me.  Being a mom is amazing.  Being a mom is hard.  I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I'm one week old!

Just thought I'd blow you some Kisses!

And here are some more kisses for you!  MUAH!! 

Hi everybody! I'm one week old today! Just thought I'd show you all how cute I am!  

Pictures!

Here is about a million pictures from the birth of our little squirt.

Yes- if you cannot tell, in this last picture I am high as a kite on all sorts of medications.  No judgements :)

Part 3

A comment on the Hubby.  He was such a Trooper.  He didn't sleep the entire night, he stayed by my side, holding my hand, keeping me company and doing whatever I needed to be okay. At 5:00 am he called his dad and gave me a beautiful blessing, and as they prepped me for surgery he was right there reasurring me that everything would be okay.  Seriously he rocks.

As they took me into surgery Tyler held my hand and was right there to comfort me through the whole thing. Within 5 minutes our tiny little Parker was out and Tyler was a great daddy and headed off to take care of him.  I stayed in the OR while the stitched me up.  At first, I felt some tugging and pressure, but by the end of the C-Section it was getting painful!  My legs were getting really tingley and I knew my numbing medications were wearing off.  I told the anesthesiologist but they were just about done so they didn't do much, just finished and wheeled me into recover. 
The nurse explained to me that within a few hours my numbing would wear off and I would be in a little pain.  Little did she know- which I explained quickly- the numbing was gone.  I could have hopped off the bed and ran down the hall just minutes after my surgery was done.  I was in serious pain. 
I had the tightest grip on both sides of my bed and it was all I could do not to scream.  I had just been cut open and I was feeling it, all of it.  I kept telling them this was the most pain I had ever been in, and they kept adding more and more pain medication with no relief.  I kept wondering where Tyler was, I really needed him, but he was no where to be found (He was out with the baby stressed out because he didn't know what was going on with me, and eventually he got so mad he pushed through the doors to find me against the office orders because he knew something was wrong).  When he finally made it to me I just lost it, I cried that I couldn't handle it, I asked the nurse just to knock me out, I held his hand and he was so strong for me.   He helped me through everything and kept reasurring me I would be okay.  FINALLY after about an hour of pure torture, some medication started to work and I was able to relax, and be wheeled into my room.  A nurse who came into the Recovery room was talking to another nurse and when he explained what had happed all the light bulbs went off.  She explained that sometimes the Magnesium Sulfate (the drug to stop the seizures) can make you metabolize your pain meds fasters, which was why the epidural wasn't working and why I didn't stay numb during the C-Section.  Awesome.

At this point I had seen my baby for all of 30 seconds and was really wishing I could see him.  Unfortunately due to all of the medications I was a drugged up mess. I couldn't keep my eyes open, hold a conversation, let alone be trusted to hold a baby. But by that night I was feeling alright and I got to see and love on my little boy. 

Parker James Hepworth, our little 5 lb 10 oz bundle of joy is adorable. He has dark blue eyes and just a light fuzz of dark brown hair.  We can't decide who he looks like most, be he sure is adorable and we love him to death.   I think we could just sit and watch him all day.

We had the wonderful support of our families throughout the whole event and they were all so amazing, and still are amazing to help us out. We love you all so much!!!

Recovery is going to take a while.  We were admitted into the Hospital on Sunday, and were discharged on Thursday afternoon- a 5 day hospital stay due to all of the complications. I am now supposed to take it easy as if I am on bed rest because my blood pressure is still through the roof.  This is really tough because I just want to play and take care of everything at home- I want to snuggle my baby, change his diaper, run around and get whatever he needs.  Tyler is being amazing and making sure I sit down here and there.  My family has been so wonderful to come over and watch Parker while Tyler and I catch up on some much needed sleeep.   All in all, we are doing wonderfully.  Labor and Delivery was rough, and not what either of us expected, but we know the Lord was with us through it all, and we can't wait to see what this new little man brings to our family!   

Birth Story Part 2

A few hours after getting started on the all the meds, I started feeling pretty nauseous.   I have been told that labor can make you sick to your stomach, but this was pretty bad.  I was unable to sit up, turn over, or lay completely flat without vomitting.  My nurse explained this was unusual and I must be reacting to all of the medications I was given.  To makek matters worse, the baby wasn't super happy about what was going on.  Each time I had a contraction, or threw up,  the babies heart rate would drop dramatically, but then as soon as it was over it was back up again.  This was concerning but we decided to continue with the labor as see how it goes. 
20 hours of labor later,  Dr. Blackett was there and we began to really get worried about the baby.  His heart rate was dropping much lower and he was having a harder time recovering after each contraction.  I was a mess, sick and exhausted, and my epidural just wasn't working so the labor was getting really difficult.  at about 9:45 am Monday morning we opted for a C-Section so I was prepped and rolled into the ER.  Because I had an epidural they did the numbing for the C-Section this way, which apparently isn't how it is done for nomral C-Sections, but it did work for most of the surgery.  The Doctors were amazing and and really made me feel comfortble,  Dr. Blackett and Dr. Norda did the surgery and we laughing and joking the whole time, making it easier for me.

Birth Story According to Me: Part 1

It all started Thursday when I had gone to the doctor, ready to be induced.  When I was sent home on bed rest, I was told that if I had a headache that lasted for over 1 hour, I had to call immediately and head to the hospital.  3 hours of throbbing in my skull, two extra stregnth Tylenol, and a Diet Coke on Sunday morning sent up packing up to Labor and Delivery for an exam.  Luckily we had prepared for induction thursday, so we grabbed our packed bags and headed up.  Because it was a Sunday,  Dr. Blackett was not in so we were lucky enough to get Dr. Fowers to help us out.  He is a family friend and fabulous doctor which made me feel better. 
After Dr. Fowers took a look, we discussed my Preeclampsia.  He explained that the longer we waited from this point out, the sicker both I and the baby would get.  He felt like and induction was the best bet for the situation.  Tyler and I agreed.  Dr Fowers also discussed that because of my high blood pressure, and the stress of labor, I was at risk for having seizures. Nice.  So I was put immediately on a medication called Magnesium Sulfate.  The Mag is a medication that would keep me from seizing, but the side effects are pretty miserable. I would feel like I had the flu,  exhausted, achy, feverish, and really hot and sweaty during the entire labor and for 1 day afterward.   It wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling but it was alright.  At the time I felt like things were going okay.
I was hooked up to the Pitosin around 2:00pm and the labor started immediately.  I was having contractions every minute and It wasn't hurting so bad.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself.  Then Dr. Fowers broke my water.... and the pain began.  Thank heavens I have an amazing husband who would hold my hands and let me squeeze throuhgout each contraction.  He was the best support and i never would have made it without him.  After a while of painful contractions they gave me an epidural.  Yay for epidurals!!!  It really helped everything out, for a while.  It kept wearing off,  so I kept pushing the button for medication.  It never dawned on me that I was metabolizing it too fast, I just thought I was a wuss.  This will be important later.

Paker James Hepworth

Introducing Mr. Parker James Hepworth.  Born May 2nd, at 10:42 am via C-Section, weighing a not so whopping 5 lbs 10 oz,  our little man is healthy, happy, and as cute as can be.  More posts including details of the birth to come when we get home from the hospital and settled, but here are some fun pics of Parker and the family!   Love you to all-  The Hepworths

Oh Pregnancy, part 2

My next doctors appointment was Thursday, and I was super excited to get in and see what the heck was going on.  The Tuesday before my doctors appointment, I headed to my monthly chiropractor appointment.  Dr. Misustin is awesome and it was soooo good I went and saw him.  While there he checked my blood pressure and it was 153/102.  Too High.   He suggested I head over to my doctor because he was worried, and it was a good thing I did.  I went over and my doctor put me immediately on bed rest, made me do some not so fun tests, and told me to come in Thursday with a high possibility of being induced on that day.  

This was stressful...we weren't planning on a baby for 3 more weeks!  So Tyler, the most amazing man ever, got to work! He cleaned the house, the carpets, finished painting the nursery and setting up the closet, set up the crib, did all the laundry, cleaned the house, grocery shopped, mowed the lawn, took care of the dog, and picked up all of the baby stuff we hadn't already bought.  I...stayed in bed.  Talk about a whirlwind of feelings and emotions.  We weren't quite ready to have this baby yet.  Were we prepared to be parents?  Was I ready to go through labor?  I have never been a fan of induction and now I was going to be...how did I feel about that?  On top of that the doctor said it would be a long process and probably take 24 hours.  Were we ready for a 24 hour labor?  There was stress and coversations of excitement, fear, tears, and anxiety.  It was a lot to go through.   But...Wednesday night we were ready to get up Thursday morning and have this baby.

Tyler and I headed to the doctor Thursday morning, bags packed, housed prepared, ready to head over to labor and delivery and get started.  We had worked out our schedules, we were all set to go.   When we arrived at the doctor's office we were in for a surprise.  Turns out,  to all of our surprises (including the doctor who was shocked herself) all of my labs were perfect and my blood pressure had gone down! What?!?  So after some discussion, we decided it was best for baby and momma to wait another week and re-evaluate then.  Of course on bed rest with a very low tolerance for headaches, or pain.  If I feel unwell in any way I have to call immediately and go back in to the doctors office.  Waiting puts me at risk of getting worse, but also means my body has more time to progress naturally, and the baby has more time to develop.   Its just a toss up between what is best for me and baby- and we are taking a small risk to wait.  Hopefully its the right choice.  The sucky part-  I hate bed rest.  I want to clean my house, shop for baby stuff, go on walks, make crafts for the nursery.  I get to lay in bed all day.  I went from crazy stressful life to stuck in bed all day every day.  I know its what is best so I'm going to do it.  Its days like this you wish you had cable. haha

How do I feel?  It took some processing to deal with it.  It was this huge stressful event to be ready for this baby today.  I had gone through all of the anxiety of preparing for labor, ready to be a mother, and was all pumped to go through a long induction, labor, and delivery process.  Tyler was ready to be a dad today- he was geared up and so excited.  And then we didn't.  Tyler and I both felt frustrated, let down, but at the same time happy that the baby could grow a little longer.  We were both just...emotionally drained.  It took all day for me to come to terms that this is right and okay.  That this is what needs to happen and that I am very happy about waiting.   I am a little worried this will happen again on Tuesday, that the emotional rollercoaster will hit again, but hopefully all will go well and whatever we feel is best for the baby will be what we do.

I have just found over the last few days that this pregnancy is out of my control.  This is more than I had ever expected but I feel like its going to make this baby even more special when he comes.  Whatever ends up happening, I know that it is what is best and that the Lord is there leading us in the direction we feel is best for our family.  Never have I had to trust in my heavenly father more than I have this pregnancy and I feel blessed that it has gone as well as it has.  Lets hope for a healthy baby and delivery whenever it happens.

Oh Pregnancy- part 1

I want to first start out by saying that I am so glad I am pregnant.  There are days when I have to remind myself that I asked for this, but I couldn't be happier that we have a little boy on the way, set to arrive anytime.  These last few weeks have been pretty trying, and I am starting to realize that unfortunately I can't be in control of what is happening all the time.  Its taken lots of prayers, tears, and trust in the Lord to know that whatever is going to happen will happen, and I don't get to decide.

Over the last few months I'd noticed some pretty sever swelling in my face, hands, arms, legs and feet.  I had a lot going on, and just tried not to worry too much about it.  I went to California for a weekend with my cheerleaders and it was a struggle.  I really thought I would be okay but I found myself exhausted and swollen most of the time.  So when I returned home I saw the doctor and was informed that my blood pressure was elevated and that I needed to "take it easy" (yeah right).  I did my best to slow down,  but with cheer and school and work it was really hard to find time to relax.   I had papers to write, a fundraiser to prepare the team for, and a baby to prep for.  Tyler was amazing and helped out with everything!!  But I started to really feel crappy and was starting to get a little worried.  But... its my first pregnancy, and everybody always tells me that the last month is miserable.  I wasn't sure if i was being a baby, or if something was really wrong. 

Two weeks later I went in and saw my doctor who again informed me that my blood pressure was creeping up and they were concerned about pre eclampsia.  I was again informed to "take it easy" and to call if I was having headaches, dizziness, blurred vision, etc.    About 2 days later I started getting headaches, and I've had one ever since.  I let the office know, they brought me in, and found that my bloodpressure had again gone up.  It was getting a little scary high, and I knew that something was going to have to be done.  My swelling was so bad that I couldn't fit in any of my shoes, and in the mornings my hands were so big that I couldn't open up packages and jars.  My face.... well lets just say I look like a totally different person and people were beginning to comment.  Awesome.  The headaches kept on coming and I knew something wasn't okay.  To be continued